finally a new post

well well... it's long overdue... i havent been keeping up for so long tt i stop bothering to update this blog.. glad it's still around..

im just kinda stressed up... not kinda.. very stressed up but thanks to the layback american ways i've adapted to, im prob not as stressed i would have been..

depressed that im not going to calarts due to $$ issues.. lost my right contact lens earlier this week and using a 5 yr old one which is blurry.. dont feel like calling home to get a new one coz i dont even know if it can get through custom at all. plus shipping is ex..

love issues but it's really not too complicated... prob just need to get through this phase im going through now..

injured my hands (again) and that was the catalyst to my depression.

i think i've had enough my dealing with liking someone in LA now..

i never thought of marrying someone just for the papers and maybe the ppl whom i do like may think that i want to get close to them just to stay here... how naive can tt be... if tt's the case, fark u all in LA. i've had my fair share of california guys and am pretty jaded now. i dont think i want to settle down right now at this moment, so screw u all. it's just a pity that i do not like the guys that do like me for real.

i dont think i ask for alot... the only 1 thing i ask for is chemistry. everything else doesnt matter as much... if there's no chemistry to begin with, it doesnt matter how good-looking, tall, successful, rich you are. I dont care. no one's perfect... if i like someone, i'll accept everything that he is.. just like i did with the last guy i ever loved so much in my entire life so far. everything was pretty cool, it was just the wrong time for a wrong guy. now it's prob the wrong time for the right same guy... but too bad, u had ur chances before and now it;s too late. i do not disagree the fact that there is ever-so such a slim chance of getting back together, but i think that will take alot for it to happen. (he's prob not even reading this n i wish to stay that way)


im just too jaded n tired of all the bullshit im going through now and somehow wish that i can break away from everything and maybe go home to visit everyone. i guess i just need somebody... not just anybody, somebody i can hold on to. 想哭但是哭不出来，蛮难受的...

p/s: i love sigur ros and pink floyd